Bond... Baby Bond

My main goal pertaining to food and my children, is to ensure that mealtime is an enjoyable experience. I want them to love dinning as much as my wife and I do. Deeper than that, I want to teach my daughter why we don't throw our food across the room and hit the dogs in the head with our water bottles, without losing my mind. Deeper than that, I really want meals to be a time for connection and bonding with my family. Deeper than that, I have some jealousy toward my wife in regards to breastfeeding and the bond that she has achieved with our kids. It's taken me the better part of four months to truly feel bonded with my son, the same was true with my daughter. I've obviously felt connected to them but it wasn't until I was responsible for mealtimes and feeding schedules that I felt that unbreakable bond. I understand that there are numerous hormonal elements to this phenomenon that leave me holding the short end of the stick. I also realize that I can make mealtime a nurturing experience with the right intention and mindset as we move on from milk to pureed foods to finger foods and beyond.

Mealtime with my 21 month old daughter is at a good stage. It's messy still. Avocado and oatmeal hair treatments are a regular thing in our house. We are getting past the "throw everything that isn't nailed down" stage. We Skye regularly with Grandma Tiger in Seattle at lunch time. It is heading in the right direction. She is eating healthy foods and interacting with the family in a positive way while she eats. The puppies still need hardhats from time to time but they forgive easily and think my daughter is an amazing food machine providing all kinds of delicacies. I can see that my focus on feedings is paying off with her. I want the same for my son.

I find breast feeding fascinating. It's a visceral, sweet and touching thing. There have been moments when I can actually see the hormonal love fest going on between my babies and my wife during feedings. Sure I get a hit of that when I bottle feed them but it's not the same as the milk actually coming from your body! This is just reality, the natural order of things and it is OK with me. My options for dealing with this are, succumb to the jealousy and secretly carry a grudge around for the next 50+ years allowing it to chip away at the foundation of my marriage and my relationship with my kids. OR, I could support my wife in her breast feeding. I can make sure that her breast pump equipment is clean and ready to go, her ice pack is frozen and ready to keep the milk she pumps cold throughout her work day. I can listen to her with compassion when she talks about the cold, sterile store room she has to pump in at her firm. I can urge her to breast feed in public if she wishes to do so. I can tell other people to go take a leap if they are uncomfortable with the sight of a woman feeding her child. I can also make the most of my opportunities to feed my infant son his milk while I have the opportunity. I can look him in the eyes while he drinks and feel that connection instead of propping the bottle up and watching ESPN Fantasy Football Live.

 If what I want is to have pleasurable meals with my family and have my children enjoy dining as my wife and I do then I can start now in the way I support her and the breastfeeding connection and the way I bottle feed my son and the way I feed my daughter in her highchair. So far, so good.

Surviving the Noreaster (Spinach Pizza part II)

Short one this week: Mrs. Cheese was out of town for work/holiday parties and I held down the fort on a solo mission. On Saturday morning, Lil, Fee, and I hit up Trader Joe's so we could be prepared to be on lock down. We took the spinach pizza thing to the next level (see pics) and made one from scratch. Kids LOVED making it-- especially spreading out sauce and laying down cheese. They were more competent than I expected, but note to parents -- make sure if you let your kids handle pizza sauce that you don't care about what they're wearing, because they'll be wearing pizza sauce.

As for the rest of lock-down...save for a 15 minute sledding disaster, we held it down and did just fine. Hope you other parents did okay too! Enjoy the pics.

Spinach Pizza

True story: Lily and Felix tried pizza for the first time around Christmas of 2012. We were in NJ visiting my in-laws and decided to take the kids out for a pretty special meal.

We got to the restaurant and placed our order fairly publicly. In retrospect, we were likely obnoxious (LOOK AT US! WE'RE TAKING THESE ADORABLE 1 YEAR OLD TWINS WHO BARELY EAT SOLIDS OUT TO LUNCH! WE ARE PARENTS OF THE YEAR! WE'RE ACTUALLY OUT OF THE HOUSE AND ACTING FUNCTIONALLY!), but I'm also pretty sure it was cute as hell. We asked for 2 pizzas: one adult concoction and a plain cheese pizza for the kids. Before we could pay or go find a table, a mother of a young family seated nearby loudly informs us, "you ordered wrong." It's 11:00am (the child early-bird special), so the place is basically empty except us and them; thus, it wasn't as socially awkward as it sounds. Also, typical table-to-table restaurant etiquette (do not intrude on your neighbor's meal or conversation?) apparently doesn't apply in parent-to-parent conversation.

She follows up: "if 'pizza' always has spinach on it starting now - at age 1 -  they'll believe that IS pizza and they'll be eating some fresh veggies every time they get their favorite meal." We changed our order.

Between this post and the last one, you probably think I'm obsessed with vegetable intake. Truth be told, I'm actually far more interested in the kids developing a diverse palette. It matters for family dinner when Georgia and I want to eat CSA meals - not Chef Boyardee.

So to the random lady? Thank you. Brilliant call. To this day, our kids are eating spinach pizza. Side note-- Amy's frozen spinach pizza is totally legit. It's a perfect rainy day meal for the kids when you don't feel like cooking.

Food Prioritization

Hey parents of toddlers: have you ever found yourself wanting to "starve out" your children in order to make them eat the things on the plate that you know are healthy for them? This guy has. Look, I'm not proud of it, but food prioritization is tough to avoid! Something happens when your kids hit 2-- they realize that they are the bosses of intake. Don't get me wrong, I still get to decide what I put on their plates, but they're smart enough to know to refuse the kale "prize" when they can take what's behind door number 2 (mac and cheese?). It's frustrating on many levels. I know that the delicious veggies I have prepared both

a) cost more
and
b) are better for them

but unless I do something to doctor the veggies to make them crazy delicious, they'll wait for the next course. On the days that I'm ballsy enough to just serve the healthy thing I want to offer them, most of the time, they just skip the meal and hope for something better at snack time. And when this happens, the dreaded words we promised would never leave our lips echo throughout the room. "No mac and cheese for anybody who doesn't eat the kale."

Boom. Now they're eating veggies, but at a tremendous cost-- the mac and cheese is the prize to be earned. The kale? It's the "grunt work" they have to get through to earn what they want. Now, veggies suck and mac and cheese is the bomb. And I suck at parenting.

No great lesson here-- just a dad venting about a tough issue. And if you don't sympathize with me, I'm not giving you any blueberry pie.

This Dad is all ears if you have thoughts on this issue.

“The Missing Sock”

Family, Food and Football are three of the reasons that make Thanksgiving my favorite holiday/day of the year. I get so excited for the day, always have. A smile is at the corner of my lips as I think of Thanksgivings gone by and those to come with my young family.  The day is about family and all the joy and anxiety that those relationships bring to our lives. It’s about food and the pleasure and gratitude we receive from a meal prepared by and shared with those we love most. Lastly, for me and many other families the day is about squeezing in as much of the 3 football games we can between our meals and our time with loved ones.  I have many fond memories of Thanksgivings gone by and the meaning of those memories have changed as I have grown older and gained “perspective”.

In 1979, I was 6 years old. It was a cold November morning, colder than most by Seattle standards. In fact a very rare blanket of snow covered the ground this Thanksgiving day. My family was hosting a big party. I was so excited. My mom had bought me a very stylish (for the time) powder blue, three-piece suit with matching patent leather loafers and white sanitary socks. I don’t know if was more excited about the party or getting to wear that ridiculously awesome outfit. I woke up seeing the fresh snow and my suit hanging on the closet door handle and a thrill of expectation raced through me. I decided that I should put the suit on for breakfast and wear it all day. As I put the pants, shirt and vest on I realized that I only had one sock in my shoes. The reason we bought white socks was because they matched the pearl buttons on the vest. I needed to find the other to complete the ensemble. This was a job for Mom. So I crossed the hall at 6am and entered my parent’s room without knocking of course. My parents were awake and wrestling on the bed. They were giggling and rolling around and then I looked closer at the jumble of blankets to see that my Dad was biting my Mom in the stomach. She started to groan from the pain of the bite. I was very scared and confused. I left the room undetected and closed the door. I ran the three steps back to my room and sat on my bed and began to fume with anger at my Dad for biting my Mom like that.

Mom helped me find the sock when she emerged from the room some time later. I was concerned about her but she seemed fine, happy really. What a trooper she was. The memory of what I had witnessed stayed with me all day and I ignored my Dad at every opportunity. By the evening the party was in full swing. A full feast was on the table, with turkey, stuffing, sweet potatoes covered with crispy marshmallows and all the fixings. I love the flavors of the day too much really. Gravy shots anyone? After dinner my cousins and I made a snowman in our back yard. My pants got soaked up to the knees but there was no way I was changing out of that suit. A poker game was roaring in the kitchen when we came inside. After warming up a bit all of the kids got a craps tutorial from my Uncle Tom. I won a dime! It was a great day. As I finally settled into bed well past my bedtime, with the din of the card game floating in under my door, I drifted off with a smile.

Fast forward some thirty years and there have been many great memories of my favorite day, so many that some start to fade. It’s funny what triggers memories long forgotten. A few years ago I was doing a warm up for a play with my cast members. While doing a breathing and visualization exercise the memory of that day came flooding into my mind. For the briefest of moments I remember feeling the sting of seeing my Dad “hurting” my Mom like that. Then as my adult perspective brought clarity to what I had actually witnessed I burst into laughter in the middle of the quiet meditative exercise.  Being in a theatre full of actors, I had to share my story. It was a hit to say the least. No wonder my Mom was in such a great mood when she was helping me find that sock!

I am very thankful for the many friends I have reconnected with this year and the many new ones I have made. I am thankful for my Mom and Dad who have been great guides for me in life and as a new-ish parent. I am thankful for my P.A. family which I learn so much from. I am thankful for my writing partner Chris “Cheese” Shutzer. I am thankful to you for reading and sharing these silly stories. I am thankful for my amazing and healthy children. I am thankful that I married Elizabeth Cronise McLaughlin. She is my greatest teacher and I am so excited to be sharing another Thanksgiving with her and our family. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!!

Bring on the grub!!!

No Recipe this week- I’m too busy cooking ;)

Guacamole and the Power of Mush

Joe’s the professional chef. I work in public education and have no formal culinary education beyond a knife skills class wedding present (thanks Jenny and Wilson!), but I consider myself creative and adventurous in the kitchen. I certainly love the challenge of “what’s for dinner” on the night that I haven’t planned a thing and have 5 people arriving in 45 minutes. I am the kind of chef who looks at a recipe for an idea, but I tend not to follow them to the letter. You’ll also notice, I prefer to grill when I have the choice.

I have twins. They are coming up on two and a half years old, and they’re a world of fun. They’re wildly different eaters, but they both enjoy food more than the average toddler.

1)      Felix is a bit of a human garbage disposal: he’ll eat just about anything you put in front of him – and with gusto. He’s a bit of a hobbit with his eating schedule (breakfast, second breakfast, elevensies, lunch, afternoon tea, supper, and dinner). Side note – we went to a Charlie Hope concert (children’s singer—seriously, check her out if you have kids), and she asked for the audience to name their favorite foods. Felix is typically shy when it comes to strangers and crowds, but this time he knew the answer, and from his attitude, I think he thought there was only one right answer: “FWENCH TOAST!”

2)      Lily is clever with her food intake. For a while, I was convinced she would try to skip meals just to save room for the next time I offered her pasta. She’s a bit more discerning than Felix, but also eats with fervor when the time is right. Ask her what she wants for dinner, and there’s a good shot you’ll hear her request “Parmesan. With pasta.”

On to the power of mush. One of the few foods of which Felix is not a fan of is avocado. Lily likes it, but doesn’t exactly seek it out, either. That said, guacamole is a great food to make WITH your kids. They like foods so much more if they participate in the preparation. I started by talking to them about each of the ingredients (see below) and quizzing them on what I’m going to do to those guacamole components. I give Lily and Felix each a wooden spoon and ask them to “mush” the mixture, and suddenly—what do you know—Felix does like avocado! And Lily wants to eat it with a spoon. Try it out—it’s super fun to get them involved, even if they’re only ready to treat foods like play doh. Just make sure you mush it too, cause they may not exactly be pros yet.

Chris’ Super Simple Guac

Ingredients:

2 Avocados – ripe

1/2 Large beefsteak tomato, cored

1/2 Sweet yellow onion

2 Small cloves of raw garlic or 1 big one

1 Lime

Kosher salt

Cayenne pepper

Preparation:

1.      Halve the avocados and scoop them into a large bowl.

2.      Dice the half onion. Add to bowl. More on how not to cry in another post.

3.      Dice the half tomato. Add to bowl. – using a serrated knife makes this easier.

4.      Crush and dice garlic. Add to bowl.

5.      Add the juice of one full lime.

6.      Add cayenne and salt to taste.

7.      MUSH. With children.

Side note—cayenne pepper is my secret ingredient here. I usually add it at the end and taste as I go to ensure it has a little something extra without being too much. My kids don’t like spicy food, but an introduction to heat with something like avocado to cut it seems to be a nice starting point. I’m certainly not going for spicy, just flavorful…

“Moe Peas”

My daughter is 21 months old and her vocabulary is growing daily.  It’s very exciting to see another layer of her personality through language.  Without a doubt, her most commonly used word is “more”—pronounced “moe.”

“Moe” has an almost universal utility.  It covers most situations.

“Moe!”  Translation: Daddy, I would like additional couscous please.

“Moe!”  Translation: Daddy, I fancy a hug.  Would you be so kind as to stop making my lunch and pick me up in a warm embrace?

“Moe!”  Translation: Daddy, I am enjoying hearing “Elmo’s Got the Moves” on repeat and need to hear it for the 6000^th time today.

It’s my favorite thing she says.  Especially when it pertains to food.  Few things give me as much joy as feeding my family.  I am a trained chef—it’s what I do/did and sharing those skills with them in a fun and healthy way is when I'm most confident as a dad.

My son is four months old, so his menu still consists of milk.  Not much of a challenge there. Mom's got that covered. My daughter on the other hand has wide-ranging tastes.  She loves salmon, couscous, yogurt, hummus, watermelon, avocado . . . . I want to feed her the best foods I can while making mealtime an enjoyable experience.  Veggies and greens are a challenge, but one I am up for. 

How do I get her to ask for “moe”?  I make a pizza.  A simple homemade sauce on an organic whole wheat tortilla with grated mozzarella, peas, salmon, cherry tomatoes and kale.  Yes, KALE!!!  The response?  “Moe!”  Success.  *See this recipe below.

Always conscious of developing good manners, I am working on getting her to add “please” on to the end of “more.”  It’s a work in progress, a labor of love that melts my heart when I hear her say “Moe Peas!”

*Silly Lion's Favorite Pizza*

Ingredients: 10inch Whole wheat tortilla, Simple home made tomato sauce (drop a line if you'd like some good and easy recipes), 1 cup grated skim mozzarella (do not use fresh moz, it will make your pizza a soggy mess) 5-10 cherry tomatoes cut in half, 3 oz. cooked salmon broken into small pieces (recipe available upon request) frozen peas, kale of any variety ribbed and chopped fine.... Kids don't like this stuff??? use whatever you have in the fridge and make it your own.

Directions: Pre-heat oven to 425*. Coat a cookie sheet with a tsp. olive oil. Place tortilla on cookie sheet and assemble. Spoon a thin layer of sauce to cover tortilla. Spread most of the cheese over sauce to cover. Spread other ingredients over the cheese. Make it pretty. We eat with our eyes first! Top with remaining cheese and put in oven until cheese turns a light brown on the edges, 8-10 mins depending on your oven. Turn off the oven and leave pizza in for another 2 minutes. Take it out and let it cool to desired temp for your little ones liking. I cut mine into 2 inch squares which get gobbled up quickly. Save the rest or eat it yourself. 

Recipe for Starting a Blog About Cooking for One's Children

Ingredients:

2 Arrogant Bastards
(1 - the Stone Brewery Ale)
(1 - one-hundred and ninety pounds of 31-year dry aged caucasian male)
1 Laptop Computer  

1 Pair of live two-and a half year old twins
(boy/girl preferable, not required)

1 Life Partner

(optional, but HIGHLY recommended)

1 Blog Partner

Preparation:

Preheat wife's oven to 400 degrees, insert twins, bake for 38 weeks. (Okay, we won't go there)...

Cook for children, on and off, for two and a half years. Fight with self for inevitably screwing them up, make them eat vegetables. Then ice cream. Use microwave, oven, toaster, skillet. Generously use the 5 second rule. Become expert of train/airplane/car/monster/force-feed bites. Become the best cheesy-scrambled egg chef in the north-eastern United States of America. Worry about salt intake for children. Then self. Pour beer at angle, aiming for bottom of glass. Call chef friend Joe, ask him "do you want to waste your time writing a blog about feeding our children. Agree to first deadline. Sit, write.

Best served with side of sarcasm.

Enjoy.