Bond... Baby Bond

My main goal pertaining to food and my children, is to ensure that mealtime is an enjoyable experience. I want them to love dinning as much as my wife and I do. Deeper than that, I want to teach my daughter why we don't throw our food across the room and hit the dogs in the head with our water bottles, without losing my mind. Deeper than that, I really want meals to be a time for connection and bonding with my family. Deeper than that, I have some jealousy toward my wife in regards to breastfeeding and the bond that she has achieved with our kids. It's taken me the better part of four months to truly feel bonded with my son, the same was true with my daughter. I've obviously felt connected to them but it wasn't until I was responsible for mealtimes and feeding schedules that I felt that unbreakable bond. I understand that there are numerous hormonal elements to this phenomenon that leave me holding the short end of the stick. I also realize that I can make mealtime a nurturing experience with the right intention and mindset as we move on from milk to pureed foods to finger foods and beyond.

Mealtime with my 21 month old daughter is at a good stage. It's messy still. Avocado and oatmeal hair treatments are a regular thing in our house. We are getting past the "throw everything that isn't nailed down" stage. We Skye regularly with Grandma Tiger in Seattle at lunch time. It is heading in the right direction. She is eating healthy foods and interacting with the family in a positive way while she eats. The puppies still need hardhats from time to time but they forgive easily and think my daughter is an amazing food machine providing all kinds of delicacies. I can see that my focus on feedings is paying off with her. I want the same for my son.

I find breast feeding fascinating. It's a visceral, sweet and touching thing. There have been moments when I can actually see the hormonal love fest going on between my babies and my wife during feedings. Sure I get a hit of that when I bottle feed them but it's not the same as the milk actually coming from your body! This is just reality, the natural order of things and it is OK with me. My options for dealing with this are, succumb to the jealousy and secretly carry a grudge around for the next 50+ years allowing it to chip away at the foundation of my marriage and my relationship with my kids. OR, I could support my wife in her breast feeding. I can make sure that her breast pump equipment is clean and ready to go, her ice pack is frozen and ready to keep the milk she pumps cold throughout her work day. I can listen to her with compassion when she talks about the cold, sterile store room she has to pump in at her firm. I can urge her to breast feed in public if she wishes to do so. I can tell other people to go take a leap if they are uncomfortable with the sight of a woman feeding her child. I can also make the most of my opportunities to feed my infant son his milk while I have the opportunity. I can look him in the eyes while he drinks and feel that connection instead of propping the bottle up and watching ESPN Fantasy Football Live.

 If what I want is to have pleasurable meals with my family and have my children enjoy dining as my wife and I do then I can start now in the way I support her and the breastfeeding connection and the way I bottle feed my son and the way I feed my daughter in her highchair. So far, so good.

Surviving the Noreaster (Spinach Pizza part II)

Short one this week: Mrs. Cheese was out of town for work/holiday parties and I held down the fort on a solo mission. On Saturday morning, Lil, Fee, and I hit up Trader Joe's so we could be prepared to be on lock down. We took the spinach pizza thing to the next level (see pics) and made one from scratch. Kids LOVED making it-- especially spreading out sauce and laying down cheese. They were more competent than I expected, but note to parents -- make sure if you let your kids handle pizza sauce that you don't care about what they're wearing, because they'll be wearing pizza sauce.

As for the rest of lock-down...save for a 15 minute sledding disaster, we held it down and did just fine. Hope you other parents did okay too! Enjoy the pics.

Spinach Pizza

True story: Lily and Felix tried pizza for the first time around Christmas of 2012. We were in NJ visiting my in-laws and decided to take the kids out for a pretty special meal.

We got to the restaurant and placed our order fairly publicly. In retrospect, we were likely obnoxious (LOOK AT US! WE'RE TAKING THESE ADORABLE 1 YEAR OLD TWINS WHO BARELY EAT SOLIDS OUT TO LUNCH! WE ARE PARENTS OF THE YEAR! WE'RE ACTUALLY OUT OF THE HOUSE AND ACTING FUNCTIONALLY!), but I'm also pretty sure it was cute as hell. We asked for 2 pizzas: one adult concoction and a plain cheese pizza for the kids. Before we could pay or go find a table, a mother of a young family seated nearby loudly informs us, "you ordered wrong." It's 11:00am (the child early-bird special), so the place is basically empty except us and them; thus, it wasn't as socially awkward as it sounds. Also, typical table-to-table restaurant etiquette (do not intrude on your neighbor's meal or conversation?) apparently doesn't apply in parent-to-parent conversation.

She follows up: "if 'pizza' always has spinach on it starting now - at age 1 -  they'll believe that IS pizza and they'll be eating some fresh veggies every time they get their favorite meal." We changed our order.

Between this post and the last one, you probably think I'm obsessed with vegetable intake. Truth be told, I'm actually far more interested in the kids developing a diverse palette. It matters for family dinner when Georgia and I want to eat CSA meals - not Chef Boyardee.

So to the random lady? Thank you. Brilliant call. To this day, our kids are eating spinach pizza. Side note-- Amy's frozen spinach pizza is totally legit. It's a perfect rainy day meal for the kids when you don't feel like cooking.

Food Prioritization

Hey parents of toddlers: have you ever found yourself wanting to "starve out" your children in order to make them eat the things on the plate that you know are healthy for them? This guy has. Look, I'm not proud of it, but food prioritization is tough to avoid! Something happens when your kids hit 2-- they realize that they are the bosses of intake. Don't get me wrong, I still get to decide what I put on their plates, but they're smart enough to know to refuse the kale "prize" when they can take what's behind door number 2 (mac and cheese?). It's frustrating on many levels. I know that the delicious veggies I have prepared both

a) cost more
and
b) are better for them

but unless I do something to doctor the veggies to make them crazy delicious, they'll wait for the next course. On the days that I'm ballsy enough to just serve the healthy thing I want to offer them, most of the time, they just skip the meal and hope for something better at snack time. And when this happens, the dreaded words we promised would never leave our lips echo throughout the room. "No mac and cheese for anybody who doesn't eat the kale."

Boom. Now they're eating veggies, but at a tremendous cost-- the mac and cheese is the prize to be earned. The kale? It's the "grunt work" they have to get through to earn what they want. Now, veggies suck and mac and cheese is the bomb. And I suck at parenting.

No great lesson here-- just a dad venting about a tough issue. And if you don't sympathize with me, I'm not giving you any blueberry pie.

This Dad is all ears if you have thoughts on this issue.