Big Moves

In spirit she was 7ft tall. Her actual height topped out at about 5'2" (maybe). Her name was Binnie Ritchie Holum and she was a mover. Dance "mover," not boxes and furniture "mover." She was one of those 'live wire' types, who seem to appear a little bit brighter than everyone else in the room as if lit from within.

Pendragon Theater, in Saranac Lake, NY, nestled in the Adirondacks, was my first paying job as an actor after theatre school, where I'd spend the next two summers and where I met Binnie. The first play of three that summer that I would rehearse and perform in was "Arsenic and Old Lace." I played Mortimer Brewster. Binnie played one of the Aunties and the other was played by another amazing soul named Fran who looked me in the eye at 6"+. We were quite a crew onstage. Offstage was even more fun. The whole cast was alive with character and characters. In the middle of all of it was Binnie. She made me feel like playing. She and I quickly discovered a shared passion for movement and began "jamming" together as a way to warm up or cool down before and after rehearsals. Sharing our weight, spinning, twisting, rolling and flying without leaving the ground. I'm sure it was strange to some to see but it was such a gift to be a part of. I had barely known her a week and there she was in the grass behind the theater, being lifted over my head and then dropping to the ground in a flash with my support. Trusting, giving, kind, playful, warm, relentlessly positive.

I had the pleasure of working with her in two other plays at Pendragon. One was "Angels In America," in which she played the Mother (Hannah Pitt) to my character (Joe Pitt). As difficult as the relationship is between the two characters, I felt like we had such a trust with each other that we were able to just tell the story or let it come through us. That is by far the most organic relationship I have ever had on a stage. It was almost effortless. I connected with her and still feel connected to her.

Binnie and her husband Bob came to visit me at a restaurant I was working at a year or so after my time at Pendragon. It was a sweet visit. That was the last time I saw her, almost 7 years ago. I had heard from friends that her health had been failing her and had posted a message or two in the last year but I never spoke to her. Yet, on the night she passed, I had the clearest and sharpest thoughts of her.

The next day a mutual friend posted her picture with a sweet remembrance. A flood of emotion hit me and I sat down and knew without a doubt what I had felt the night before. "She was announcing herself," my wife said to comfort me. A sweet thing to say and probably true in a sense, but I didn't need consoling. I was sitting outside of my daughter's room watching her and my son spin around and act goofy. That was all the comfort I needed right then.

Binnie lived well. She played hard. I didn't know a ton about her but I know she loved a lot in her life. Boy, could she move. What a light, what a light, what a light.

Growing Up

Friends,

Let me start with this- it has simply been too long. I'm afraid the winter got the best of me, and I neglected the site. No longer!

The funny thing about not writing for 2 months (especially when your kids are under 3 years old) is that they actually age quite a bit. This period of time for L and F was particularly developmental. They behave and speak far more like children than babies and they continue to grow at a ridiculous rate. They've ditched the cribs, are bordering on potty training, and have become far more able with their bodies.

From a purely culinary perspective, another recent change is that things that were not edible before are suddenly edible now. Foods that L and F couldn't stop eating have become somewhat less interesting. To this day, the moment that surprised me the most - we were celebrating a birthday and the kids were presented with some seriously delicious cake. F ate a few bites, and then turned the rest down. I had never seen this behavior in him-- sure it's possible he wasn't feeling well, but honestly, it seemed to me that he was developing a greater sense for his appetite and sense of being satiated. I also think he is starting to prefer salty treats to sweet ones.

My wife and I pushed the kids a great deal in the past week, and one meal in particular stands out as a great moment of change. We went to a restaurant that truly didn't have kid options, and the kids were forced to make the best of it. What happened? They ate the largest meal of their life-- off Georgia and my plates. They were eating roasted vegetables, shrimp, chicken, and steak like it was their job. Sure, they've had all these things before (we serve them all the time), but usually these foods are neglected for greener pastures at home (I'm choosing not to believe this is about my cooking...).  But during this meal, i saw a glimpse of the 5-6 year olds I hope to have.

I'll write again soon! Thanks for reading...

"Warm" Chocolate and the Stolen Pig in a Blanket

East coasters unite! Yesterday was a wonderful, beautiful snow day. The air was crisp, the temperature was cold but not unbearable, the kids were eager to be outside. But yesterday was a day of funny accidents. You know the ones I'm talking about-- moments you're trapped between laughing while your child is crying because of WHAT made them cry. The look of "what the F!?!?!" when you giggle and they expect a sincere "I'm sorry that the world sucks sometimes" moment. Both my kids had one yesterday.

Lily's: After a 2nd trip sledding, I decided it was time to make "warm" chocolate (if you make "hot" chocolate for 2 year-olds, you are a braver man than I am). Let's just say it was a hit. I'm honestly not sure if there was more joy or spilled chocolate on their faces. They took turns having sips from their mugs (with my help, of course). That said, a sip usually involved either sticking one's tongue in one's mug or breathing-in really hard and being surprised as one's mouth filled up with deliciousness.

Lily could not contain herself. When it wasn't her turn to drink, she jumped up and down in anticipation of her turn; it was cute as hell. Sadly, she forgot to stop jumping when it was her turn, and she smacked her lip on the mug. She suffered a small cut and obviously fell into hysterics. That said, her wet eyes didn't last because she realized that time spent crying was time lost drinking. Chocolate solves all ills.

Felix's:
Bonnie (Bobo) sidles up and steals Felix's Pig in a Blanket
Felix: Why duh Bobo steal my hot dog!?!?!Dad: Oh no! Did Bobo take your hot dog?
Felix: (incomprehensible banshee screaming)
Dad: See, that's why we have to keep our food on the plate.
Felix: (incomprehensible banshee screaming)
Dad: Don't worry, Felix! There's more...
Felix: (incomprehensible sobbing/whimpering...)

(I gave Felix a replacement pig in a blanket - our last one)

And then, we repeated the exercise. Only this time, there wasn't more. It was sad/hilarious. The only way to calm down was to call mama and leave a sad message.

All in all? Great snow day. Enjoy the pic.

"Shocking" Secrets From Chef Daddy Mac

"Shocking" Secrets From Chef Daddy Mac

It's 4:30 on Wednesday afternoon. The 2 year old is asking to watch the "Belly Breathe" song by Elmo, Common and Colbie Caillat for the 200th time of the day. The 6 month old's teeth are driving him nuts. For the stay at home parent this is often termed as the "Fussy Hour", "The Witching Hour" or my favorite, "60 minutes Of Hell. Mom is not going to be home for another 1-2 hours. The dogs are getting hungry and looking like they need to go outside. Now is when you remember that you decided to read blog posts during naptime instead of prepping dinner stuff to make it easy on yourself. Now what? Don't panic. I'm here to help and my suggestions may "shock" you.

 There really is no way to get around doing the work of preparation if you want to cook healthy, fresh foods for your family. There are numerous ways to be prepared when it's time to put dinner on the table that will make your life way easier and save you a ton of money. First of all, make a list before you go grocery shopping. This very basic tip will be useless if you don't do a little meal planning ahead of time and if you don't stick to your list. Make a budget and stick to it. I like to play my version of "The Price Is Right" while I'm wheeling through the store and the check out is my show case show down. I keep a running tally in my head, which works well for me. I've had some experience at keeping a budget for restaurant kitchens so I've got some practice. If you don't want to risk blowing the budget then carry a calculator and keep yourself on track. If you find good deals on things that your family likes that you can freeze, grab a little extra and help your future budget. With each bargain I find I take off something that would fall in the treat category. A great deal on organic chicken? Good-bye spiced almonds and stuffed grape leaves.

Once you've bagged your groceries and lugged them home somehow, like the urban dwelling super hero that you are, don't just shove everything in the fridge and cupboard and walk away. Put your dry goods away first. Consolidate things like pasta and cereal to make room in the cabinets. Store your bread in the fridge. I usually go through the fridge before I go shopping to make sure nothing is going to get buried in the back of the fridge and become some biology experiment. Throw old food out and make sure that any food storage materials you use are clean and ready to go for the new foods. Wash all of your fruits and veggies and store most of them in the fridge. Buy a salad spinner and use that sucker on your greens and berries. Put your greens in zip lock storage bags and evacuate all of the air before sealing the bag. This will keep them fresh far longer than you can imagine. While it may be time consuming, this step will make your fresh foods last longer and eliminate much of the waste you may be experiencing now. Most items you get from your butcher can be stored in the fridge or freezer as is. Be sure to place any meats, fish and especially poultry below your other foods. Just incase something leaks you won't contaminate anything else. With chicken breasts and the like, I store them in portion specific bundles. I store 2-3 breasts per bag. This way I don't have to thaw the whole package to use a small portion and risk the rest of it going bad before I can cook it. If you buy fish, I recommend buying them whole or sides and learning how to break them down at home. This is not easy for the average home cook to do but it could save you a ton of cash and it's really fun once you learn how to do it. I portion my fish like I do my chicken. It's great to be able to reach into the freezer around 5pm and know that all you have to do is thaw the item and cook it instead of breaking it all down and making a huge mess in the moment.

The last time saver I'll cover today is the wonderful world of Blanching and Shocking. Lets say you have fish, chicken and lamb on your menu for the first few days of the week. You bought Brussels sprouts, broccoli, fennel and asparagus at the store on Sunday. On Sunday night, plan 30 minutes to prep all of these vegetables in order to save at least an hour during the week and making sure that these things actually do make it on the plate and not in your garbage can. Get a medium sized pot full of water to a simmer. Place an appropriate sized colander into the pot so that the contents will be fully submerged. Some people like to salt the water during this process. I do not. I feel that the salt draws out too many of the nutrients. Grab a large bowl (I have a set of inexpensive metal prep bowls that are assumed in many of the techniques I speak of) and fill it with ice and water. Cut each veg into appropriate sizes for cooking. Keep all veggies separate. Once you are done cutting a veg you can submerge it in the simmering water. I wouldn’t keep any of the above-mentioned veggies in the water for more than 2 minutes. Once they have reached your desired tenderness remove the colander full of veggies and place into the ice water. This stops the cooking process and sets the items color. Remember, you eat with your eyes first. Keep your green things green and your red things red... Once the veg is cooled through remove it from the water and dry in a kitchen towel or paper towel then store in the fridge.

It's Tuesday afternoon and you are in minute 10 of your own personal "60 Minutes Of Hell". Reach into the fridge and grab a bag with your portioned chicken breasts. Pop it in the microwave on defrost. Season the breasts and sauté them like a pro (I'll teach if you in another post) and take your beautiful dark green Brussels sprouts out of the fridge. Sauté those suckers as well and it's dinnertime. We'll talk other side dishes down the road but you are off to a good start with these tips.


Never again will you be scrambling around in your mind and your fridge trying to figure out what to make for dinner only to give up and call for Chinese. With these simple techniques you will at least have a fighting chance to get something healthy on the table for your family.

Why Do I Keep Eating the Kids' Food?

Self-control with kid food…yeah. Funny how I’m pretty good with it in general—I don’t reach for the jelly doughnut at work, and I pass on snacks throughout the day. I’m pretty good about not going back for the 3^rd slice in social situations in which most people cut off at 2…

So why the F do I suck so bad at not taking a bite of hot dog? Seriously—a freaking, boiled, disgusting hot dog? Eating from the foods I prepare for the kids is one of the stupidest habits I have developed, and it has earned me a solid 5-10 pounds of idiocy. 

Mrs. Cheese and I did a two week cleanse (not the juice kind) which required us to cut wheat, sugar, and alcohol. The moment that was hardest for me was avoiding taking a bite of the Annie’s “Bunny” Mac and Cheese. My hands tried to betray me. I was literally holding a spoon before my head said no. BUT MY HEART SAYS YES! 

Seriously, what’s wrong with me?

The strangest thing about this habit is that you find yourself eating things that are bland, cold, and generally gooey. Discarded scrambled eggs? Yes please. Counter pizza, previously frozen, now burnt? You know it. Chicken with soy sauce? Apparently, I’ve really been missing it!

The saddest, gut check moments are those in which you wonder if a piece of food has been chewed and discarded. I win that battle MOST of the time. Sigh.

Thank you, cleanse. You’ve helped me realize I’ve been setting a WONDERFUL example for my children. Eat anything, and everything, all the time, regardless of the disgusto factor!

Recipe for Packing a School Lunch

We all have the chores we love and those we hate. Take out the trash? Sure, no problem. I'll do laundry; I'll scrub a pot. No issue there. But mea culpa-- I suck at putting things away. When I choose to live (like a dirty college kid) out of a laundry bin of clean clothing rather than putting the clothes away in my closet, Mrs. Cheese sighs, huffs and puffs, and shows general disappointment. But at the end of the day, that's my mess and I live with it. The trouble is with the family/kids stuff I hate putting away.

The task that I hate the most is emptying the dishwasher. We lazy men grow accustomed to some stupid stuff-- and I confess-- in my pre-moving-in-with-Mrs.-Cheese days, I would often load the dishwasher, pull clean dishes when I needed them, and leave the "dirties" in the sink until they piled up enough that the dishwasher needed to be loaded again. I'm not proud, but when you're young and only responsible for yourself, the plan has a simple elegance. Use what you need when you need it, clean what needs to be cleaned when it takes up too much space.

Jim Gaffigan asks in a silly voice - "Is this article mis-titled? Why does he keep talking about putting things away? This guy sounds creepy...and pretty dirty."

Okay. Get to the point. I already hate the dishwasher, and now...every piece of kid gear is intricate and has no less than 16 pieces. Seriously? A milk sippy cup straw needs 3 parts? There is no more annoying task than putting away kid food gear.

Recipe for Packing Twin "School" Lunch when Mrs. Cheese is out of town
 
Ingredients:
1 Disgruntled father (preferably clothed beyond "wake-up materials")
2 Lunch boxes
2 Sippy cups, all 16 parts needed
8 One inch size food containers (lids required. apparently...)
4 cups, 2% organic milk
Whatever non-perishable items you can acquire from your seemingly full, yet remarkably disappointing, refridgerator/freezer/cabinets

Step 1: Remember to pack lunch at 11:00pm with lights off...in bed...needs to be done before leaving for work at 6:40am. Decide "now is not a good time." F---.
Step 2: Set alarm for 5 minutes earlier.
Step 3: (iphone alarm ringing...) Snooze button. 1x.
Step 4: Do morning get ready for work routine.
Step 5: Open dishwasher-- realize you suck at life and didn't empty it night before.
Step 6: Spend 12 minutes assembling kid materials - pre food. Spill proof? Ha.
Step 7: Curse the stars. The Greek God of kitchen work. My own irresponsibility. My wife's employer for taking her from me.
Step 8: Settle on PB&J. Assemble.
Step 9: Settle on goldfish. Bag.
Step 10: Settle on grapes. Devine. Put in container.
Step 11: Assemble milks.
Step 12: Get in car. Promise self you won't be so irresponsible the next time you're in charge.
Step 13: Wait 2 weeks. Repeat.

A 3 Course Meal at a "5 Star Restaurant"

“Pardon me! Garcon? May I please have your finest turkey burger with ketchup dipping sauce?”

Make fun of me all you want, but playing “restaurant” at dinner time is a hugely popular game in my house these days. The kids absolutely love eating out, so bringing the experience home has been a powerful way to get them to eat things that might otherwise sit on the plate, ignored in favor of grub they know. I play the snobby waiter/chef who is silly, yet responsive; they play the consumers who…well…consume.

Here’s how it works:

Step 1: Put kids in chair.

Step 2: Wait patiently while “customers” insist on strapping themselves into booster seat—no self-respecting patron would ever let the waiter do this…

Step 3: Politely push customers in.

Step 4: Offer chef specials: “Tonight, for the appetizer course, I have either monkey brains with elephant toenail sauce or finely sliced cucumbers with hummus.” One day, they’ll pick the monkey sweetbreads and I’ll be screwed—but for now, it’s a pretty good giggle catalyst.

Step 5: Serve first course.

Step 5a: If you’re feeling particularly patient, ask the customers if they’re enjoying the first course. If you’ve demonstrated how to properly respond to this question in an actual restaurant, it can be pretty funny what they’ll say…

Step 6: Remove first course.

Step 7: “Can I interest you in a main course today, or are you simply grazing? If you’re interested, I have the chef’s specialty tonight—a turkey burger – barely seasoned at all – on extremely plain wheat toast with melted mozzarella cheese. That comes with a ketchup dipping sauce.” Um…yes. Yes, they’ll have that.

Further steps—see above until meal is done. Usually, there’s a dessert course for customers who have demonstrated a zeal for eating the finer things in life—that said, dessert is for customers only, so those who eschew the provisions are politely shown the door. I recommend the cinnamon toast with a side of clementine. It’s simply delightful.

I like offering things one at a time. It prevents my carnivore from ignoring the veggies, and my carbaholic from exclusively eating pasta. The “customers” don’t have to eat everything, but they must try each course to move on to the next one. Pretty fun and effective stuff.

That said—I’m really pissed. I have these repeat customers, and despite eating everything, they never leave a tip! Whoever raised them did a terrible job.